I’ve been through a lot.

Some people underestimate. Like they think I just say that because my parents are separated.Or I just say that so people can feel bad for me.Actually,I don’t want anybody to feel bad for me. I feel bad for myself,everything that I’ve been through,everything I have done. I have a lot of regrets and I know in your life you’re not supposed to,but I do. Whether it was what happened to me when I was little,my parents separation,or finding out that my cousin was with the boy I liked. I don’t remember a time when I was actually happy. I live with so many regrets and so much guilt,it’s unbelievable. Tonight was actually a great night and I’m supposed to be happy but I’m just not.I have the greatest friends and the most amazing best friend,I don’t know what I’d do without them.

6 months ago with 2 notes

I had an amazing day today.

Seriously.I wasn’t acting like I was happy.I truly was happy.I got a message from my ‘future husband’ on here last night and I actually did my work in Spanish today.And tonight was our homecoming game and we won 77 to 0.It was really fun.I got to hang out with my friends <3 Today was good.Really good.

7 months ago with 1 note

I’ve found my future husband..

I swear,he’s beautiful.He’s on tumblr.He doesn’t know I am totally in love with him..haha!Go follow him ;D

A Little Bit of Me

thejobrien.tumblr.com

7 months ago with 0 notes

I can’t wait to leave.Leave this place.Go somewhere new.Forget my old life and be somebody new.Leave and go somewhere where someone won’t throw my mistakes in my face.

10 months ago with 0 notes

I hate that moment…

That moment when you hear a song,or talk to someone,or see something that reminds you of someone that meant so much to you.And you can’t do anything but reminisce of all the memories or things you have with them.You can’t help think of everything that made you fall for them.All the things they did,their flaws,imperfections.It could have simply been their personality,the way the walked,their hair,their eyes,their hands,their smile,or even the way it was when you two were together,that made you fall head over heels.And you just sit there thinking about those great,fun times you had with that person and how you cherished them.Then suddenly,it hits you why you don’t talk or are no longer together.Whether you messed it up or they did.Whether you should have held on a little longer or said something that would’ve made them stay.You think about everything you could have done.You have those “What if..” and “If only..” moments.You sit there thinking about all the laughs,all the smiles,the jokes,the hugs,the tears,the kisses,the memories,everything.And you just cry and cry regretting not doing everything that you could’ve done to keep the most important person in your life,in it.

10 months ago with 0 notes

Yesterday,I went to my friends’ graduation.I saw the guy who broke my heart.He didn’t just break it.He got it ripped that mother fucker and put that shit in a fucking paper shredder.He ruined me. He literally broke me.I haven’t seen him since January 26,2012. It was his last day.He left without saying bye.We briefly spoke.A hi-bye thing.I saw him walk by at the graduation.I was like “Is that him?”.When he walked back I realized it was him and I don’t know why, but I just started crying.My friend asked me what was wrong and I just said I was period that our friend was graduating.But it was because of him.Towards the end,my friends and I started to go to the back where the graduates were going to be.While I was looking for my friend in the crowd, he came up to me,said hi and gave me a long hug.He smiled and asked me how I was and I told him I was fine and then he left.I felt like utter crap.He meant the world to me.And to talk to him, to hug him, to see him smile.His smile.That was the reason I fell and kept falling for him.I feel so disgusted with myself.Oh gaaaawwwwwdddd. D’:

11 months ago with 5 notes